Parenting Through Change
Research-based resources for parenting, child development, and helping children navigate family change
Parenting & Child Development
There is a lot of parenting advice available, but not all of it is grounded in good research. For thoughtful, accessible information about child development and parenting, I recommend Parenting Translator by child psychologist Dr. Cara Goodwin, Raising Good Humans with developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman, and the Child Mind Institute’s Positive Parenting, Thriving Kids video series. These resources offer practical guidance without treating parenting as something that has to be done perfectly. If you are working on a parenting plan, my child custody and parenting plans page explains how Washington approaches residential schedules.
Co-Parenting
Separation changes a family, but children can continue to thrive when parents are able to protect them from adult conflict and respond to their changing needs. The OurFamilyWizard website has some great resources and the Mindful Co-Parenting Guide from CustodyXChange can be helpful; their parenting plan visual examples are useful for those who like to see the plans laid out. To tell the kids, I recommend the Child Mind Institute.
When Communication Is Difficult
Sometimes co-parenting communication becomes circular, hostile, or simply exhausting. Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute developed the BIFF® method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—as a practical way to respond to difficult emails and texts without adding fuel to the conflict. You do not have to diagnose or change the other parent to improve the way you communicate; sometimes the most useful place to start is with the part of the exchange you can control. What you are after may be parallel parenting.